It is entirely possible that I just need to relax.
Because I want to be disciplined. I do. Discipline. I want to have that word tattoed on my being. I want to be a discplined eater, liver, lover.
But so much of who I am is not disciplined. I am not the militant type when it comes to my classroom: I digress. I divugle. I diverge. I am a messy pile of pocket refuse when it comes to love.
Discipline is what I seek, but it isn't who. I. am.
I like drinking alcohol and letting loose. I like making plans and breaking them. Having fun. Relaxing. Laying in the warm sun when there is laundry that needs to be done. I like eating ice cream with sticky and sickly sweet fudge. Going to bed with my makeup still on.
I want to be good, but I can't be perfect. I think I need to find a better balance.
Balance.
breakfast: Spaghetti squash with one egg, olive oil, parm cheese, sauteed spinach
lunch: mexican stew with 1/2 avocado
snack: half banana
dinner: salad with spinach, pecan, strawberries, blue cheese, balsamic
exercise: barre blast
balance.
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